Billie Holiday says I'm a fool to love you,

<Written in March? I'm not quite sure of the exact time frame now-accidentally saved this as a draft because I prematurely ended it, but as sadly ironic as this is now, my desire to keep this blog nakedly truthful and starkly honest will have me posting it tonight 5.31.15 >

But I am a fool in many ways.

How I wish I could write this/type this on my bed 10 ft from where I sit now, barefeet nestled in the dirt outside my door, warm in my bed, I wish I could sit there, and smoke, and just be.
But like my existance has been for as long as I can remember,
I will struggle through this.

I don't know who fucking reads this stuff I write,
I presume no one outside Steve, my best friend,
and possibly my only true friend.
The only one that withholds judgement when I flounder and expose my truths,
and my struggle, and the hurt in my journeys,
The only one who calls,
and talks,
and laughs,
without expectation.
Except maybe the expectation, of hopefully the same in return.
25 years andd I have found one such friend,
and thank the fucking Universe that I ran into such a soul.